Single Ladies Generation
18 Friday Sep 2009
Written by Corve DaCosta in Entertainment, Thoughts & Commentary
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Beyonce
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you WANT
if you don’t, you’ll be alone
and like a ghost I’ll be gone
Lyrics from Beyonce’s Single Ladies
For some time now I have not taken Beyonce’s Single Ladies song seriously. I have listened to the song many times but thought it was a fun, great song to dance to (not me lol), never thinking about the hard issues embedded in it until I had a heart to heart conversation with a friend.
For many who have tried dating and searching for love, they’ll admit how sad it gets when the man you expect to pop the question never does, but gets so scared.
I do not support people who spend years dating and flirting with a steady boyfriend/girlfriend and never asks the question to be married or even become exclusive partners. It is ridiculous and makes the guy (most times we are expected to have that discussion) look silly and his actions questionable. Is he there for the long haul? Is he nervous about commitments? Whatever the answer, guys who flirt around for years, afraid to enter marriage, will most often lose the girl.
Personally, I think men who are wary to enter commitments show characteristics that women should refrain from entertaining in their lives. If both parties give selflessly to the relationship and the man doesn’t ask the question, should the female let him go? Should women be expected to start popping the marriage/commitment question then? Certainly women will not consider the suggestion that they should start going on one knee. I would say the majority of us (both male and female) would agree that the decision should be left to the man to make.
Now, more than ever, women are not waiting on men to propose. In the twinkling of an eye, another gentleman or lady is ready to pick up where you left off. This brings me to the line Beyonce shouts in her song, “Where my ring at?”
Many women are asking, “where is my ring?”. Come on: a good partner doesn’t come along twice. When you have found the one that completes you, challenges you and makes love the best, “put a ring on it.”
If you don’t, you’ll be alone, and like a ghost they’ll be gone. – Beyonce’s Single Ladies
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFhkNBlfMXc&hl=en&fs=1&]
8 comments
September 18, 2009 at 9:48 PM
Yeah, I think that most guys who don’t pop the question after a few years are afraid of commitment. That wasn’t a problem with me and Ken…we were married 8 months after we met!
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corvedacosta Reply:
September 18th, 2009 at 9:54 PM
@Beth.
You are something else. lol
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September 18, 2009 at 10:33 PM
Admittedly, I wasn’t ready for marriage when my wife indicated that I had better either marry her or move on. I didn’t want to move on, so I decided not to continue working on my masters degree and get married and start a family. Fortunately, I was able to make a living with my bachelor’s degree, but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally regret not bowing out and running off to continue my dream of working in biotech.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to say. Sometimes there’s a lot to give up. Women should know that. Getting married means the end of something at the same time as it’s the beginning of something else. My advice would be, make sure you’re at a point where you won’t regret your decision before you decide to pop the question. Do both of you the honor of walking away if you’re not ready.
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September 18, 2009 at 11:14 PM
@Writerdood
Thanks for your honest opinion. I think people will take your advice seriously. You have lived it. WoW
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September 19, 2009 at 9:46 AM
Nice post. I certainly agree that the commitment angle is a no brainer, commit and be exclusive, but the marriage part of it can be trickier. I was lucky finding Beth, but the other relationships after my first divorce were not as smooth. So you need to feel it in the gut as well, and if not, then wait.
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September 24, 2009 at 3:46 AM
@Writerdood Wow I think it would have been cool if your wife at least allowed you to finish your Masters. Having more education would only have benefited the both of you in the future. Then again, I guess I won’t know for sure until I’m in a similar situation with my (future) husband.
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writerdood Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 3:28 PM
My wife is older than me, and she was worried about having kids after forty. So, my choice was, break up with her and find someone younger, marry her later and forget about having kids, or marry her and start kids/career right away.
Those aren’t great choices, obviously. But I wanted kids, and I wanted her, so I got married and started my career. It wasn’t just her decision – it was also mine because I wanted children. If I had been satisfied being an empty-nester, I could have married her later. Or, if I had wanted someone else I could have just broke the whole thing off.
I don’t regret my decision all of the time. There are just some times, particularly when I’m reading about all the cool technology I’m not involved with, that I sometimes wish I had continued school. But that’s life. You’re always going to want something you don’t have.
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September 24, 2009 at 5:15 PM
A man should pop the question. He should be sure and not pressured. I may have often felt as if I made a man wondrful for someone else. I am not the kin dof woman that has a ticking clock or is anxious to pressure my guy with marriage. It is not a secret that I want to be married and I am honest about that but I don’t think that it is fair to give up life or integrity to be married. However the couple loves that I had where I felt as if he could be the one didnt marry me but the next woman. She brought it up and seemed to be very adament about being married and he went along with it. Sometimes good but I dont ever want to force someone to marry me and live with his resentment and possible step out. It is not rocket science but I would like to believe that it is forever so I would prefer to enter into it lightly and sure that our love is worth working for.
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